i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
