I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
