In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
