hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If that was your dad, he is hot
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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