he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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