I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Welp...herpes.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
