All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
