I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
