Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
