a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize