Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
