We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
