am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
