dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
should my penis look like a turkey
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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