One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
