i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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