What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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