your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
