There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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