well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
