My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize