How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
