I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize