after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How does one acquire holy water?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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