Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
