I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
