Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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