forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
