I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So apparently I’m into choking now
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
