areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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