After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
