dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
