Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
