she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
