I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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