you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
