How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize