Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
