these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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