Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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