Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
