i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
