So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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