Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
