the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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