maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
