um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
