goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
