dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
