Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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