david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
