your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize