I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
They took my balls.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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