doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
