i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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