Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
