I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
