Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
