Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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