I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
